Psycho
by Sage Kelsey
Summary: A person's emotions are not a toy you can play with, then carelessly throw away. Even if it's unintentional. If you do so, you pay. MelloxOC, One-sided NearxOC.
1. Lesson One: What To Do Stuck In A Closet

**Me: *Running around in circles***

**Matt: What's wrong with Kelsey?**

**Mello: Apparently, she has 3 other stories typed out in her mind besides the one "Gamer Girl" and is going to explode from an overflow of "Plot Bunnies."**

**Matt: Oh! Well that totally makes sense.**

**Mello: Maybe to you.**

**Matt: Though I thought she didn't like bunnies...**

**Me: Do the Disclaimer, Mello!**

**Mello: Why me?**

**Me: Because if you don't, I will take various porn pictures of you and send them to MissehKeehl! Then I will steal the Slash Note from Near's Guide To High School, make you and Matt have sex, I will video-tape that, and send it to MissehKeehl as well!**

**Mello: Who is this "MissehKeehl?"**

**Me: Le Gasp! She's like, my idol, and your WIFE! How DARE you forget your WIFE!**

**Mello: Well, you control all my actions!**

**Me: Just do the damn disclaimer before I ruin your rep.**

**Mello: *Sigh* Kelsey doesn't own Death Note, but she does own the OC.**

**Me: Who loves Near more than you~**

**Mello: GRRR!**

* * *

He worshipped her from afar. I suppose you could say that, but it's more like studying. Studying her from afar. Possibly stalking, but let's not go into detail, shall we?

She was alluring and charming, a deadly combination. Apathetic, angry, egotistical, yet happy, immature and hyper. She was very hard to read. Yet so easy to like.

Her name was Psyche. She was...different, to say the least. She knew just how to get to you by one conversation. Knew just how to make you fall in love by one conversation...

She made him fall in love by one conversation. I pity the fool...

He was irritable and fiery, but she saw something special in him...

His name was Mello. The boy who studied her, everyday, as if she was some exotic, rare, endangered species.

She may as well have been. Her superior mind was surely not human... He knew... Because of that one conversation...

... That one conversation.

"...Hey," He said, she turned around, almost surprised to see him there.

"What do you want? I was going to the common room to check if Near was there," She turned her head back in the direction she was heading, her black hair flicking her face. "...But of course he is. So what _do_ you want?"

"Can't I just want to have a friendly conversation with a kind stranger?" Mello smirked as he said this.

"No. I'm not a dumbass, Mello," She narrowed her ocean eyes, and they glinted with impatience. "What _is it_, Mello? If you have nothing to say, I'm going to my little Pillow."

_Her little Pillow...?_ Mello thought. _...Near...?_

"I was just wondering why you hung out with," He struggled to say the name he hated to much. "N-Near."

Psyche blinked. A smile meant to dazzle all onlookers plastered on her face. Mello's face started to represent a strawberry.

"That's what you wanted to know?" He nodded, taking a bite out of the chocolate bar in his hand.

"Easy! He's nice, and sweet when you get to know him. I enjoy his presence, he calms me." Mello grimaced, he'd never heard _anyone_ say such nice things about _**Near**_.

"Plus," She motioned for him to come closer, "He's pretty friggin' cute, too..."

She giggled. He was mortified. Near? Cute? She most be suffering from Psychosis.

Psyche patted his head. "You're cute, too, just not my type." She raised towards the door to the common room, conveniently located down the hall, winking at him before disappearing inside.

_Not her type? _Mello thought. _...What type is he?_

* * *

"Hello, Near." Psyche said, just barely above a whisper, joining him in the empty corner where he puts that blank puzzle together everyday.

"Hello, Psyche," Near said in return, not looking up from the puzzle. "Did something interfere on your way here? You usually arrive earlier than this."

Psyche blinked. "Oh, Mello wanted to talk to me about something."

"I see..."

Psyche gave Near a small hug, and Near visibly stiffened. She was the only one he'd allow _this close_ yet he still wasn't used to the small hugs - and occasional kisses - she would give him. Nor was he used to the fact she'd come out of nowhere and tell him he's cute...

He blushed at the thought, and she let go of him, pulling a book out of seemigly no where- Book Space, if you will, and began reading.

They stayed like that for about have an hour, then Psyche put the book away, leaned against Near, and fell asleep.

Near didn't mind the extra weight.

* * *

He watched. Watching her cuddle up against that white pyjama-clad cyborg. It made him sick.

His mind told him she was doing this to taunt him...

He thought she'd make a good Psychologist, of she wasn't suffering from Psychosis herself. The blonde chuckled, remembering once that he asked her if she knew she was suffering from Psychosis.

_"Oh, I don't suffer from it," Was her reply. "I enjoy every second!"_

His beautiful sky blue eyes looked out the window, onto the outside ground of Wammy's to see the sun setting.

He smiled evilly, his bangs shading his eyes and making him look eerie.

_I have a plan...I devilishly good plan..._

_

* * *

_

Psyche walked the dark, lonely, empty corridors of Wammy's at night, searching in the darkness for her room. She past by a closet and swore she heard breathing from inside.

She knew it was stupid, but she stopped at the door pressing against it gentley to see if she could hear it louder.

Cautiously, she opened the door, only to be grabbed and pulled inside. She attempted to scream, but her assaulter put a hand over her mouth, stopping her breathing in the process.

"If you don't scream, I'll let you breathe," Said an all-too familiar voice.

She nodded fearfully. The hand was removed and Mello stepped in front of her, grinning maniacally.

"M-Mello?" She said, fear lacing each letter.

He grasped her both her wrists behind her back, using his free arm to wrap around her thin waist. The grin was still there.

"Yes, my dearest Psyche?" He asked, nuzzling her neck, causing her to turn pink.

"What are you doing?"

The grin widened.

"Ravishing your soft little body..."

Psyche whimpered as she felt soft, ghostly kisses along her neck, towards her jaw-bone, and on her lips. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers and she did what any other girl in this situation would do.

She kneed him in the Mello Junior.

Mello keeled over momentarily releasing her, which she used as her escape out of the closet.

Mello looked at her as she ran scared.

...Maybe he was the Psycho instead?

* * *

_"Maybe I'm the one...Maybe I'm the one who is the schizophrenic psycho, yeah. Maybe I'm the one, Maybe I'm the one, who is the paranoid flake, oh yeah." _"Psycho" by Puddle of Mudd.


	2. Lesson Two: Don't Mess With The Best!

**Me: *Spontaneously combusting with joy* Misseh. Reviewed. My. STORY!!! She's so awesome-sauce!!! I wonder how she'd feel about sharing you, Mello?**

**Mello: She wouldn't.**

**Me: Hah! So you DO remember her!**

**Mello: Of course I would. She keeps me chained up in her basement. She may be plotting your horrible demise as we speak.**

**Me: Well, if I'm gonna die, I might as well be killed by my Idol!**

**Matt: AH! She's turning into a Mikami! Do you know what this means?! Do you know what this makes Misseh?!**

**Mello: A threat to society?**

**Matt: No! It makes her SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME! She has the power to make mildy neurotic people into Mikamis!**

**Me: Personally, I think my mentality is contageous to people of low IQs. I mean, my elementary school friends were perfectly sane until 2 days after our friendship...they went loco after that. ...Now, Mello, you will do the disclaimer or else I will sell you to Misseh as a sex-slave. For free.**

**Mello: O.O Kelsey doesn't own Death Note. Only the OC, Psyche. Nor does she own Violence Is All The Rage by Schoolyard Heroes.**

* * *

Psyche awoke the next day, with murderous intent.

_How dare he... _She thought. _Doing something like that..._ The memory of what happened last night replaying in her mind.

_Today he shall pay..._

* * *

Mello, on the other hand, woke up feeling rather...hurt. In the lower regions.

Let's just say, that Psyche usually fights with the strength of a deranged Matt who has been deprived of games for 2 months mixed with Mello deprived of chocolate, stuck in an asylum and forced to see pictures of Near all day. Add the strength and speed of an Olympian and that's Psyche's strength. Also add anger and fear.

And she kicked Mello Junior. Mello Junior still hurts...

Mello groaned while getting up, looking over at his roomie, Matt, who was still asleep. Mello quickly dressed and woke up Matt for breakfast.

That's when he heard mysterious knocking on his door. He opened it and saw the person he never thought he'd see at his door. Especially dressed the way she was.

It was Psyche, smiling and winking and him, seeming happy as can be. Creepily so... Now, what really scared him, was the was she was dressed. Instead of her baggy shorts and gray sleeve-less baggy shirt, she was in jean shorts and a gray crop top.

Her ocean blue eyes twinkled, but like a sea about to have a storm...

Mello was going to die of cardiac arrest. Whether he was sure the crazy in front of him was going to kill him, or if he was going to die of a massive nosebleed.

"Mello!" She yelled, glomping him. He suddenly lost all pain in Mello Junior. She hugged him tighter. "Did you sleep well, honey?"

_Honey? Okay, now I'm really scared. She barely talked to me before. Or anyone besides the Sheep..._

In case you're wondering, or care, Matt was currently in the bathroom, oblivious to all that was going on.

"Come on, Mels, I wanna get to breakfast early!" Psyche was really creepy now, and Mello was sure he was going to pass out.

"O-Okay..." He somehow managed to stutter. She smiled that dazzling smile, but something was off about it today...

Psyche dragged Mello down to the cafeteria, making comments about how nice he looked today, making Mello feel uncomfortable.

Secretly, Psyche was about ready to claw both her and Mello's own eyes out. Him for being a perv...and herself for...Oh, you'll see.

Walking into the cafeteria, hand in hand, drew attention from many, many people. Psyche didn't care who stared, but she did care for what Near would think. Only Near mattered...No one else...

She spotted him and gave him a small wave, he looked, noticed her and Mello's fingers interlocked, how flushed and confused Mello seemed to be, and looked away. No expression on his face...No flash of emotion in his eyes.

Psyche frowned, and got mushy oatmeal ("Yuck!") for both her and Mello. She took a small packet out of her back pocket and spilled the contents into Mello's oatmeal.

"H-Hey! What are you doing?" Mello asked, having caught sight of it. This chick was crazy and for all he knew, she was trying to poison him!

She gave him a small peck on the cheek (Now contemplating suicide) and hugged him. "It's cocoa powder, silly!" She mixed it in and picked up the spoon, focring it into Mello's mouth.

"Chew motherfucker...Chew. It will be the last meal you'll ever have." She whispered to him, now Mello was sure he was gonna piss his pants.

"Oh, Mello, you're so funny!" She said as a cover-up, in case anyone heard.

It was official. This girl was Psychotic.

After breakfast, Psyche refused to leave Mello's side, earning some stares and glares on both their parts. It was convenient, though, that they sat next to eachother in every class. No matter how many times she told them how much she **hated** Mello.

The day went by and soon nighttime fell.

Mello sat in his bed, alone, and afraid of what might happen if he went to sleep. He heard mysterious knocking on his door...

"Curiousity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back, as they say," He muttered as assurance, opening the door to see Psyche with a pillow, wearing an over-grown white shirt that stopped around her mid-thigh.

...How much could one 13 year old boy take?!

One of three things will happen; he will pass out from an extreme nosebleed, let her in, or die of an giant orgasm.

It was the middle one. And a little bit of the latter... Not that he would admit to that.

"M-Mello?"

"Yes?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Dear God, Mello was going to die.

"...Why?"

Psyche squirmed cutely. "...I just don't feel comfortable tonight."

"...Alright, come on in." Mello shut the door behind her and climbed back into bed, not facing her. Not wanting to face her.

Until she wrapped her arms around him.

...Fate hated him today, didn't he?

"Good night, Mels..."

"...Good Night...Psy."

Psyche smirked. _And say good bye to your chocolate._

The next day, Mello awoke with no Psyche cuddling up to him (Which, although creepy and questionable, he did miss) and something else amiss. He looked under his bed and found what was amiss.

Under his **BED **was no longer the **STASH OF MILK CHOCOLATE AND CHOCOLATE RELATED THINGS **but instead, a **STASH OF MILK CHOCOLATE THINGS WITH _NEAR _PRINTED ONTO THE WRAPPER**. Who could defile chocolate so?

Mello found a note on top of it all.

_Dear Honey,_

_This is what you get for trying to molest 13 year old girls in closests!_

_Hate, 'Psy'_

_P.S. Very creative nickname._

"....PSYCHE!!!"

* * *

_"Let me introduce you to your nightmare. Jet black a sparkle in her eyes. Neither a girl nor a woman but a demon in the flesh now. Blood red her lips are homicide." _- "Violence Is All The Rage" by The Schoolyard Heroes.

* * *

**Me: ...What would happen if Fee and Psyche met?**

**Mello: O.O**


	3. Lesson Three: Hurt Mello, Loveless Near!

**Me: Misseh rox!**

**Mello: We know.**

**Me: Rox sox!**

**Mello: *Sigh* We know.**

**Me: Do the damn Disclaimer or else you don't want to know!**

**Mello: Kelsey does not own Death Note or One Is The Loneliest Number, by Three Dog Night.**

**Me: If I owned Death Note, I would make a Smutty MattxMello Dating Sim that I will then send to Misseh for her to test run!**

**Mello: ...Where's Matt?**

**Me: Misseh's basement. *Breaks out crying***

**Mello: Kelsey is currently in a deep state of depression. Caused by Yoga. YES. Yoga caused her stress. She quit.**

* * *

While Mello grieved over his poor chocolate, and Psyche laughed so evilly it put Light Yagami, Lelouch Lamperouge, and Higurashi Cast to shame, Near grieved over the loss of his first love and first friend.

* * *

_Of all the people, why would she choose him? Whenever a conversation wandered to the subject of Mello, Psyche would say she dislike him with intense passion._

_...So why?_

_Why would she dress like...that...for him?_

_Why not me?_

_...Perhaps Mello let's it show._

_I wonder...If I had told Psyche that Mello would stalk her in **broad daylight** if she would label him a 'creeper'. If she would tell Roger..._

_If she would not like **him.**_

_Why Mello?_

_Is this my fault?_

_Should I have told her how I felt?_

_Feelings...Still so foreign._

_For the longest of times._

_Why would it come out now? For such a stable, yet unstable girl?_

_My heart's an open book...She can read it if she likes..._

_And I only want her to read it._

_...When did I get so sentimental?_

Near's thoughts were interrupted by an echoing scream of "PERVERT!!!" followed by a Mello outside window in the common room.

* * *

_Five Minutes Prior_

Mello was seething. How dare she replace his good chocolate with white chocolate?

He ran upstairs, and into her room without knocking; only to find something he knew he'd severely suffer for.

Psyche, standing up, in black boxers and a sports bra. A towel was covering her still damp hair.

"P-Psyche?"

"…Mello." She covered herself with the damp towel and advanced toward him.

"Psyche? Are you…okay?" Mello stepped back, scared for his life. And his sanity.

"…PERVERT!!!" Psyche ran towards Mello, punching him towards and out of the window.

"You BASTARD!" She screamed, angry as hell. "How could you do that?! You don't knock?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

And that is how Mello ended up in a pile of leaves, outside Wammy's Common Room.

That is also how Near ended up appeased, happy with what had happened.

…But still longing.

* * *

Five minutes later, Psyche had gotten dressed and some dickweed had called Roger. They were in the Doctor's Office with a hurt and bent up Mello. The doctor told them what was wrong with him.

"Well, his right leg is broken, his left ankle and right wrist sprained, and his has a bad black eye," Said Dr. O'Brien.

"Really?" Psyche asked. She didn't care for Mello, she was just amazed that she could hit that hard.

Then again, she _did_ send him flying out of the third floor window.

Roger told him to mail them the bill and they left.

Psyche sighed, _Time for punishment…_

When they got back to Wammy's, Psyche was prepared for the worst.

…And, boy, did she get the worst. For her, at least. I'm pretty sure a certain girl named Melissa would have enjoyed the punishment.

"You are to take care of Mello the whole time his is injured," Roger said, strictly. "Spend every waking moment with him, help him with his homework, and obey his every command."

_Obey his every command?!_

"Now help him to his room."

Psyche growled, _I'll kill Roger later._ She put one of Mello's arms around her and started walking, helping him along the way.

"So…" Mello began, she could hear the smugness in his voice. "We're gonna spend a few months together, aye?"

She put on her sickly sweet disguise, the one that lets them _know_ they will pay…

She turned to him, "Yeah! It's gonna be so much fun! I'll give you a makeover, and do your hair…"

Mello gulped.

_Makeover?_

She opened the door to Mello's room and put him on his bed, sitting on top of his waist. She leaned down, a few inches away from his face.

Mello gulped again. "Psyche?"

"We're going to have so much _fun_, Mello…" She smiled, her canines glinting. "So much _fun, indeed_..."

Mello's face starting burning, his heart racing…

She just smirked, laughing mirthlessly.

"You'll never believe how much_ fun_ we'll have together," She put her arms on either side of his head. "_Never."_

Psyche got off him and skipped merrily away, "I'll be back in a few!" And sure enough, she was back in a matter of seconds, holding a makeup kit in hand.

"Time to play!"

"No!"

* * *

_I am sad. Very sad, indeed._

And sad Near was. Mello…that lucky bastard. He may have gotten hurt, but thanks to it, he gets to spend every waking moment with **his** Psyche.

**_My _**_Psyche…_

"How _dare _he…"

* * *

_"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do…Two can be as sad as one, it is the loneliest number since the number one." _– "One" by Three Dog Night.

* * *

Near: One may be the loneliest number, but N is the loneliest letter.

Me: Aw! I'm so happy my friend is a poet, and another is a songwriter. They helped me with this. ^^ Loveless!Near is so cute.

Mello: Bastard better stay away from my Psyche...

Psyche: Excuse me?

Mello: Nothing, baby.

Psyche: *Blushes*

Me: Keep it in your pants, Mello. ...We should totally let Psyche and Fee meet!


	4. Lesson Four: How To Escape To Narnia!

**Me: No time for wit! Disclaimer!**

**Mello: Kelsey does not own Death Note, or whatever song Kelsey finally decides on using for this chapter.**

**Matt: And I'm back! :D**

**Me: ...**

* * *

**_December 3rd_**

Psyche sat with Mello on his bedside, playing with paddleballs.

"….What's your least favorite letter?" Psyche suddenly asked.

"I have two, N and lowercase E."

"Why?"

"N because it begins Near's name. Lowercase E because it just sits there…Smirking at me…Taunting me…Like it just slept with my girlfriend, or something," Mello said, angrily.

"That's ridiculous. And I know you hate Near," She rolled her eyes mid-sentence. "Tell me something I don't know."

"When I was five I wanted to be a pimp."

"…"

"…You told me to tell you something you didn't know."

"Yes, but something I'd _want_ to know."

"You are the cutest person I've seen in my whole life."

Mello had expected a punch, kick, something hurtful, but what he got hurt him even more.

She got up and left.

"…"

"…"

"…See you later, Mello."

"See you…Psyche."

At least the punches showed emotion…

* * *

_Later…_

"…I WANT CANDY!!!" Psyche yelled randomly. "I WANT CANDY!!!"

"We've established that…" Came a voice, calm and reposed, that she loved so much.

"Hiya, Near!" She tackled the pretty albino and starting kissing his forehead while patting his head, which attracted many stares.

"How are you today?" She seemed genuinely happy, tossing Near in the air (easy because of his light weight) and hugging him when he fell down.

"I'm quite fine, thank you. Would you mind putting me down?" Psyche obliged and set him on the floor, hugging him still.

"You're so cute, Near! How do you do it?" People started staring at Psyche like she was crazy. Crazy she was…

Psyche noticed these stares and glared back, "What? I may be weird, but I _know_ what cute is, and Near is cute! You're all just jealous!" She stuck her tongue out, and the stare-people looked away.

Near looked at her, astonished. "I'm…cute?"

"Course you're cute, Silly," She hugged him tighter. "The cutest thing of this generation!"

Mello, who had been watching in the sidelines, snorted with disbelief. "Near cute…How ridiculous."

"I love you, Near-Sheep!" Psyche exclaimed, hugging Near, who's eyes were widened beyond there limits.

"…Love?" Near repeated.

"Yes, love, Near-Sheep. I love you. Like a little brother."

"Brother…?"

"Near, did your IQ go down in the last five minutes? You seem to disoriented!"

"…I…Do?"

Psyche frowned. "Maybe you're tired," She picked up Near in a piggy-back position, "Time for a nap, Little Near-Sheep!"

"Let me help you with that." Mello said, coming out of the shadows. Psyche looked at him, then smiled. "Sure! You can make sure I don't fall on the way up the stairs, Little Dutch Girl."

_…Near-Sheep?_

_DUTCH GIRL?!_

* * *

By this time, Mello had helped Psyche and Near towards Near's room, and while Psyche was in the bathroom, Mello had threatened Near that he'd "Kill and eat his babies."

A little afterward, they had all fallen asleep.

Near had woken up a bit later. "Psyche?"

Glancing around the room, he soon spotted his friend, who at this point was attempting to inside his small, white wardrobe. "Psyche, we've talked about this, you can't run away Narnia every time you're bored."

"But I want to talk to the Jesus Lion!" Psyche exclaimed.

"I told you; he doesn't exist."

"What?! But I saw him in the magic box."

"You can't trust everything you see on TV."

Mello stirred, slowly opening his eyelids to reveal sky blue irises. "What about the magic box?"

Near sighed. What is with everyone and the 'magic box'?

"I wanted to escape to Narnia!" Psyche yelled.

Mello's eyes widened, "Really?"

"Yes! But Near said it wasn't real!"

Mello gasped, "Shun the non-believer!"

"SHUN HIM!!!"

Near sighed again.

Was everyone around him a so strange?

* * *

_"He's my best friend! Best of all best friends! Do you have a best friend, too? It tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy, hey! You should get a best friend, too!" _– "Best Friend" By Toybox.

* * *

**Matt: …What…**

**Mello: …The…**

**Psyche: …Hell…?!**

**Me: :D**


	5. Lesson Five: Never Give Mello A Hula

**Me: I am on a ROLL! I thought I sucked at this, but authoress' (Successful ones, too) seem to like this story.**

**Mello: Aren't you currently working on another? Actually, two others?**

**Me: Yes, but I'm still working out her personality and the outfit is currently under works. For one, at least, the other one is all ready.**

**Matt: How come nobody talks to me?**

**Me: You're not Fee enough! Now do the Disclaimer, or I will sell you both to a host club…Run by Misseh.**

**Matt & Mello: Kelsey does not own Death Note or whatever song she finally uses for this chapter!**

**Me: I mean, it's not like I always have them planned.**

* * *

Psyche stood in the bright courtyard of Wammy's, dropping rope. With a green hula-hoop. Yes, you can jump rope with a hula-hoop, if you have not tried it then you have not lived, my friend.

You have not lived.

Anyway, likes get this highway to Hell started, shall we?

"Hey, Coco! Pass me another jump rope," She called towards 'Coco' who just happened to be Mello, standing next to Matt who seemed mildly interested, and Near sitting under a tree in the distance.

He growled, "My name is Mello, and fine." Mello picked up a blue hula-hoop and tossing it towards her, but sadly, Mello's aim had epic failed and landed about 9 feet away from Psyche.

Psyche's eyes narrowed to slits and she glowered at him, "EPIC. FAIL."

She walked towards the hula-hoop, and it all happened so fast.

She stepped on the hula-hoop, slid, and was currently on her back, her face toward the sky.

Mello and Matt ran over, simultaneously screaming, "Are you okay?!"

They were worried, that is, until they heard laughing.

"Ha…Haha…He…Heeheehee…Hahaha! Hahaha! HAHAHEEHA! BWAHAHA! HAA!" The twisted laughing continued, eviler than anything they've ever heard yet comforting in its own twisted way. Yes. Eviler is a word. And that is how you spell it.

The two Wammy boys soon found themselves laughing as well, giggling first and turning into full-blown euphoria.

Little Near in the distance couldn't help but crack a small, stalker-like, creepy and unsettling smile.

Near's half-smile/smirk thing is hot, but in general Near's smiles are very creepy and unsettling.

Mello helped Psyche up, "Seriously, are you okay?" Psyche laughed a bit more, before stopping, "Yeah. I'm fine. But you're aim sucks!"

No crap his aim sucked!

Psyche smiled, and ran off to talk to Near, tackling the poor, pretty and petite albino once she got close enough to him.

Technically, it would be classified as a glomp.

Anyway, she left Mello and Matt alone to talk.

"So," Matt began, in a joking manner. "I leave you alone to eat your chocolate every few months and you go off and make another friend. You have betrayed me, Mello. You have."

Mello scowled, "She's not my friend. We just end up hanging together,"

"Sure, she's _not_ your friend," He said, "She's kind of strange, you know? Something about her is just not right."

Mello shrugged, "There's something different about her, yeah, but I like it."

A smirk graced Matt's usually calm and smiling features, "You _like it_, huh?"

Mello, catching the gist of it, scowled once more, "Not like that, you giant pervert," Matt's smile just widened more. "_Sure_. Just have fun with your little Dominatrix."

Mello and Matt got into a heated argument, unbeknownst to them to sibling-like bonding going on the other side of the courtyard. Well, sisterly-bonding on one part, and a building romantic relationship on the other.

God help us.

* * *

"Near," Psyche said happily, practically crushing the small boy writhing beneath her, struggling for air. "Why don't you come join us? I promise it'll be fun, and I'll protect you from Coco."

Near, being a genius, immediately registered 'Coco' as 'Mello', and smiled inwardly.

"I do not wish to."

Pouty face. "Why not? I've always wanted to see you stand!"

Who hasn't?

Blank face. "Physical activity is not my forte."

Psyche rolled her eyes, "It's not mine either, but you should at least attempt it."

"No."

"What if I gave you a dollar?"

"No."

"Two dollars?"

"No."

"What if I made you president of Wammy's?"

"No."

"What if I made you president of the World?"

"No."

"What if I stopped calling you Pillow?"

"No."

"What if I bought you a Toys 'R Us?"

"No."

"What if I made Mello stop harassing you?"

"Tempting, but no."

"What if I told you I loved you?"

"No- What?"

"Ooh, I got you there, didn't I, little Near?"

"N-No." The ever-perfect Near was stuttering? Alert the media! It's the Apocalypse. The world is ending! Tell the people!

"Yeah, I did," She said, smirking. "Little Near wants me to tell him I love him."

"No I do not." DENIAL.

"Yes, Near does. I think Near loves me back," She said.

Wait, was that just a love confession?

No, it wasn't. You may be thinking it was, but it wasn't.

"No I do not."

"Yes, Near does," Psyche pulled Near's face as inhumanly possible close to hers. "Near should just admit it! Emotions are nothing to be ashamed of,"

_They are if you feel them for your best friend._ Near thought, _But maybe if I told you, I'd get it off my chest…_

"Is Little Near-Sheep okay?" Her caring voice snapped Near out of his daze.

He looked up at her, "I am quite fine, thank you," His voice was still in that soft monotone.

Psyche frowned. How she longed to get some emotion in that voice, to prove to others Near was more than a cold, unfeeling robot. But as long as she herself knew, it would be fine.

"Well, I'm going to get some ice-cream," She turned around to see Mello and Matt bickering, Mello seeming flushed and disheveled, and Matt seeming smug and unfazed.

She shrugged and ran into Wammy's, leaving Near alone to think.

But thinking didn't last long since Psyche had this odd ability to just appear next to you, so she did just that, holding one vanilla ice-cream cone, one chocolate, one cookies 'n cream, and once cherry vanilla.

"Ice-cream for all!" She yelled, and sure enough, Mello and Matt came rushing towards them.

She handed Mello the chocolate, and Matt the cherry-vanilla. She handed the regular vanilla to Near, and kept the cookies 'n cream.

That's when she noticed something, She managed to get Near and Mello in the same place without them bickering.

Amazing!

"…Hey, guys…" Matt began.

"What?" Mello and psyche said in unison.

"It's 10:00 PM … Where the Hell is the moon?"

Everyone's jaws dropped, and they quickly rushed inside.

* * *

I…have nothing to put here. Any ideas?

* * *

**Me: Well, that was a total filler.**

**Matt: But I was in there. Therefore, it was smexy.**

**Mello: *Rolls his eyes***

**Me: Oh, and the whole 'slipping on a hula-hoop' happened to me yesterday. My friend Kether's aimed sucked and she threw the hoop far away from me, when I went to get it I slipped and started laughing. My friend Jenna was there, and she was laughing, too.**


	6. Omake One: Magical Death Note Host Club

**Me: Muahahahahaha!**

**Mello: You really screwed us in this chapter, didn't you?**

**Me: Hells, yes I did! This is where the 'T' rating comes in.**

**Matt: Am I Fee yet?**

**Me: It's not up to me, it's up to Fee whether or not you are! Now do the disclaimer, Disclaimer Buddy Mello.**

**Mello: Kelsey does not own Death Note or Ouran High School Host Club, or Kether, or Symphony, or Lain, but she does own Psyche. Kether owns Symphony and Lain.**

* * *

"Mello!" Called an unfamiliar voice.

"Matt!" Called another unfamiliar voice

"Near." Called one more unfamiliar voice.

"WAKE UP, DUMBASSES!!! Except for Near. Near is cute, and sweet, and like heaven in human form." That was one voice they noticed, it was the voice of Psyche.

The three boys opened their eyes to notice they were in a room with bubblegum pink walls and fancy looking furniture.

"Where the Hell is this?!" Mello exclaimed, jumping up from his spot on the floor.

"Oh my god! It's PINK! PINK!" Matt screamed, running around like a moron.

"…" Was all Near said.

The three looked in front of them.

They saw Psyche, and three unrecognizable people.

One of them had short brown hair and bright aquamarine eyes and was wearing a baggy grey sweat jacket, a blue and white striped shirt, and light green cargo capris, and beat up sneakers, "Hey. I'm Symphony. Nice to meet ya."

The other wore jean shorts, a long-sleeved baggy white sweater, had pale skin, grey eyes, and mid-back length messy black hair, "I'm Lain, pleasure to meet you."

The last one was seemed…really cute. In a bad-ass sort of way.

Like Mello.

She had straight, blonde hair and blue eyes, wore a plain blank tank-top, dark gray cargo capris, and lace-up brown boots. Without heels, because heels are evil, "And I'm Kether, I really don't give a crap if you like me or not."

Matt stood in front of Kether, "I'm-"

"I already know who you are, Mattie," She said smirking.

"Really?" Matt asked, confused. Kether's smirk widened, "Course."

"MATT! STOP MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT KETHER! SHE'S NOT INTO YOU!" Psyche yelled.

Matt looked crestfallen, "Aw…"

"Now, let's get this party started, shall we?" Psyche said, full of enthusiasm.

The others didn't have time to react, because as soon as she said that, Mello was in a short, pink frilly Lolita dress holding a waitress plate, Matt was wearing an Ouran High School Host Club boy uniform, and Near was in a Ouran High School Host Club girl uniform, but his was shorter and ended just above the knees.

"Totally kawaii!" Psyche yelled, having a major nosebleed.

"What the HELL?!" Mello screamed, trying to cover himself.

"Don't you dare!" Psyche yelled.

Kether grabbed Mello's hand and dragged him and Near into a separate room, "I'm gonna do your makeup." She sang happily. Mello screamed, Near's eyes widened.

Then there was one. That one was Matt.

"Uh…What are you gonna do about me?" Matt asked, frightfully.

"FETCH ME COMMONER'S COFFEE!" Psyche yelled.

Lain and Symphony sighed, "Leave him alone, at least until the Host Club starts."

Psyche pouted, "Fine."

Kether came out, holding Mello and Near.

Near was wearing blush and lipstick and his eyelashes looked longer, and so did Mello's.

"Aren't they adorable?" Kether asked, smiling sadistically.

"Most definitely," Lain and Symphony said, "They're so cute!"

Psyche rolled her eyes.

* * *

"This is EMBARRASING!" Mello whined.

"Stop complaining, Mello…" Near said calmly.

"The Host Club is now open!" Psyche yelled, the large pink doors opened and various males and females entered the room.

"Hey, Mello! This dude wants you!" Kether yelled, pulling a shy looking brunet boy with her.

Said blonde scowled, and begrudgingly stomped over.

"Near, Sweetie, this boy requests you." Symphony said, a gleeful looking auburn-haired boy following behind her.

"Unacceptable," Near muttered under his breath, following the boy to a table. "Completely and utterly unacceptable…"

Psyche smiled gleefully, then cackled madly as the revolving pedestal thing she was on started going down.

"Kether's in charge!" Psyche said, before disappearing into god-knows where.

Kether smiled evilly, "I'm in charge…"

"You CAN'T make them do a strip tease for money, Kether." Symphony warned.

"Damn…Melissa would have wanted it!" Kether said, hoping she could convince Symphony.

"No, Kether," Lain said.

"But you want it, the costumers want it, Melissa wants it!" Kether whined.

Symphony smiled, "You can't make them do a strip tease, but you could definitely make Mello and Matt have sex and tape it."

Kether smiled as well.

Five minutes later, the costumers had cleared out of the Host Club and screams could be heard throughout the place.

"We are gonna make so much money!" Kether exclaimed, adjusting the camcorder in her hand.

* * *

**A/N: This omake was dedicated to Misseh, because she gave me the idea!**

***Wind Blows***

**Mello: You are EVIL.**

**Kether: HEY! Most of it was my idea.**

**Mello: Good god! You're REAL?!**

**Kether: Yes, dumbshit. I'm real. And I'm the evil in Kelsey, she was a good, sweet girl before she met me.**

**Kelsey: It's true.**

**Matt: Yeah, it is.**


	7. Lesson Six: Past Events

**Me: Dun, Dun, Dun.**

**Matt: What?**

**Me: The plot.**

**Mello: What plot?**

**Me: The plot of this story. The title of the chapter. You get more into the mind and past of Psyche. The plot of the story comes in. I don't know if you've noticed this, but I'm making this shit up as I go along.**

**Mello: Nooo! *Sarcasm***

**Me: *Rolls eyes* Well, I'm still depressed about the end of Artificial, and the last line Near says at the end replays in my head about a thousand times a day. It's taking over my mind. I wonder what he meant by it? Regardless, Misseh somehow found a way to get into Near's head, and mine, too. I can't think properly anymore. I think I'm going insane… I was relatively sane before. I think…I'm blurring the lines between sanity and insanity…I've been very Paranoid lately.**

**Matt: So you're going to use that Paranoia to write this story?**

**Me: Precisely.**

**Mello: Ah… Do you think you're okay?**

**Me: I…I'll survive. Could you do the chapter? I'm going to go lie down…And study for my test.**

**Mello & Matt: Kelsey does not own Death Note, but she does own the OC Psyche.**

* * *

Psyche sat upon a high branch in a tall tree, staring up into the sky.

…She heard voices…

"Psyche! Psyche are you okay?!"

She groaned, _Great, the voices are back… _She thought.

"Seriously, Psyche, you're worrying us! What if you fall?!"

It didn't take her long to figure out that she was not hearing those wretched voices, but the voices of Matt and Mello.

Psyche looked down from her spot in the tree to see the pair standing at the base, "I'm fine. Don't worry," She looked up into the sky again, "I'll be fine…I hope." She murmured the last part, so they didn't catch it.

"You coming down anytime soon? It's getting late," Mello said, worry and curiosity ebbing into his voice. "And the sun is starting to set."

"Yeah, just give me a minute." Psyche climbed down the tree, as quickly and carefully as possible, "Sorry if I kept you waiting. Climbing has never been my forte."

Mello raised a non-existent eyebrow, for Psyche was not acting herself today. She wasn't energetic, strange, or annoying in any way, shape or form. It was weird…She always seemed to have boundless energy.

"You okay, Mello?" The sound of Psyche's voice woke Mello out of his daze, "You kinda spaced out."

"Yeah, I'm alright."

* * *

The sun had gradually set and children of Wammy's had already had dinner and headed to bed.

Near, suffering from insomnia, was still wide awake in his room, finishing his blank puzzle.

When he heard a knock on his door.

Curious to know who would visit him at this time of the night, Near got up and opened the door, only to find Psyche standing there, shaking, holding a pink bunny.

Near's eyes widened, "Miss Psyche?" She stepped in and collapsed onto her knees, hugging him around the waist, and softly began to cry.

Near closed the door and slowly wrapped his arms around her, "Miss Psyche?" He asked again, "Is something the matter?"

She looked up, wiping the tears out of her eyes, "Near, can I confide in you?"

Near blinked, startled by the question, then nodded.

A small, sad smile etched its way onto Psyche's face.

She looked incredibly grateful.

She hugged him tighter, "Thank you…"

* * *

_"Mommy, who's this?" An 8-year old Psyche asked, pointing up at the strange man leaving her mother's room, "I heard noises…Screaming…"_

_"None of your business, Piper! And didn't I tell you it's impolite to point?!" Snapped the young child's mother, slapping her finger away._

_Piper flinched, "I-I'm sorry, Mommy."_

_The mother sneered, "You better be!"_

_She left with her boyfriend and didn't return until four hours later, very much hammered._

_"It's because of you that Gary left!" She screamed, throwing various items around the house at the young girl, Psyche, or rather Piper. 'Gary' was the name of Piper's biological father._

_"B-But I didn't do anything, Mommy!" Piper pleaded, hiding under places and trying to coax her drunken mother away from the kitchen._

_"Yes you did! You were born!"_

_"But I can't help the fact that I was born! You brought me into this world!"_

_Piper's mother smiled sadistically, "That's right. And I can take you out. Maybe not the same way you got in, but I can take you out."_

_Piper backed up against the wall, clutching the pink bunny in her hand closer to her heart, "But…But…"_

_Her mom's smile turned into a leer, "I **hate** you, Piper Katherine Achilles."_

_"B-But why would you do that, Mommy? I didn't do anything wrong, Mommy! Please!" Piper broke down, becoming a crying mess just as her mother threw up on her and passed out._

_"Please…Mommy…"_

* * *

Near stared with wide eyes at the broken girl before him, and hugged her closer.

It was an awkward sensation, comforting a person you fancy, holding them so close…

Awkward, yes, but it felt good, no matter how sick that sounded.

"Are you done, Miss Psyche?" He asked, softly as if not to unsettle the weeping girl.

"Yes…I'm done…" She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, "You're such a good friend, Near…I wish nothing bad on you."

A much deeper bond was formed.

* * *

_"I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep. I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing!" _– "Because Of You" by Kelly Clarkson.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yes, this is the result of feeling very angsty and not wanting to study for your test tomorrow while you have a snow day. Jeez, those snowflakes were huge… P.S. I wrote this purely on impulse.**

***Wind Blows***

**Mello: What did you do to my poor, defenseless Psyche?!**

**Near: I do believe that in this chapter, she is _my_ poor, defenseless Psyche.**

**Matt: Defenseless?! Did you SEE what she did to Mello?!**

**Me: He's got a point.**

**Mello: Nonetheless, what did you DO?!**

**Me: *Rolls eyes* Anyway, this is just the beginning of what Psyche's past. You still haven't seen what REALLY screwed her up.**


	8. Lesson Seven: Psyche Gets What She Wants

**Me: *********IMHAPPYZ* Hello, my loyal reviewers! *CoughONLYAFEWPEOPLECough***

**Mello: Good Godiva, what put you in such a good mood?**

**Me: YOU! *Hug* You did! Well, really, Reimei-No-Shi (TouchMyMafia's Mello Cosplayer) did! Reimei-No-Shi is the sexiest thing since sex! THE SEXIEST. And, yes, I know Reimei-No-Shi's a girl. But she looks SO much like Mello! You can't even tell if she's a boy or a girl. Random thing; If America stops being dumbasses and makes their own Death Note movie, Zac Efron would play Light, Johnny Depp would be L, and Ashley Tisdale would be Misa. I cannot wait to see Zac and Ashley die. ^_^**

**Me: They would hire Reimei-No-Shi to be Mello. Reimei-No-Shi is so pretty, I'm jealous.**

**Me: They'd hire LuChan87 to do Near. She REALLY pulls off Near. Now, for some reason, I want to poke Mello's sexy, toned stomach.**

**Mello: O_O *Running***

**Matt: *Smiles* Kelsey does not own Death Note or its characters. She also doesn't own whatever song she chooses to use. Remember, she does this crap on impulse. AND REVIEW. YOU THINK SHE WRITES THIS SHIT FOR HER HEALTH?**

**Me: Damn skippers.**

**Mello: Don't you mean 'Skippy'?**

**Me: Nope. Skippers. I LIKE SKIPPERS! :D What are skippers?**

**Matt: Maybe GenericCliche's Lizzie would be L…**

**Me: *Racing after Mello* Don't worry Melsy! Since I'm in such a nice mood, you actually get a chance with Psyche in this! Because this story is going downhill fast! ...Maybe.**

**Mello: _START THE GODIVA DAMNED FIC!_**

* * *

Near was currently on the floor, with Psyche asleep on top of him, struggling to get up, "Miss Psyche…You are…crushing me…" All Psyche did was snuggle harder into him, making his cheeks flush a beautiful, rosy pink.

"Miss Psyche, I cannot feel my legs…"

She leaned even closer onto him…

"Miss Psyche, Mello is currently in a french maid outfit holding a batch of cookies for you."

Psyche's eyes snapped open and she jumped up, "REALLY?! GET ME A CAMERA!!!"

She looked around, "Hey… Where's Coco? He's not in a maid outfit! There are no cookies! He's not even here! You LIE." She pointed an accusing finger at Near, "How could you LIE to me about something so _GODLY_?"

Near sat up, hugging his knees and twirling a strand of curly, silver hair.

"It was the only way to get you off me. You had fallen asleep, and I could not breathe… Piper."

Psyche blinked, "No one has called me 'Piper' in a very long time, Near."

"Piper Katherine Achilles."

"I hate my name."

"I think it sounds somewhat… exotic."

"It's not actually my real name." Psyche smirked as she pointed that out, "But you still like me, right?"

Nod, "Yes." Psyche ran over to Near and hugged him, tipping said albino in the process, "You always know how to cheer me up, Sheep."

_Do I look that much like a sheep?_

"Actually…" Psyche put a finger on her chin in a thinking manner, "You're more like a kitty to me, Near. Kitties are cuter."

"I'm… cute?"

Psyche looked baffled, "You didn't KNOW? 'Course you ARE cute, Near. Kitty Near. Why do you think Linda hangs around you so much?" (A/N: DIE LINDA!!! I'm sorry for interrupting...)

Near's cheeks turned an uncharacteristic pink, "Thank you… I suppose,"

She patted his back, "No problem, Kitten."

_That almost sounds… Suggestive._

The black-haired girl gave him a toothy smile before casting a glance out of the window, "The sun is rising, Near… Look it,"

The rising sun was splashing the dawn sky with colors of red and orange, making a beautiful painting in the sky.

"It's pretty. I've always liked the sunset."

A ghost of a smile graced Near's face as he felt Psyche lean against him.

"Hey, Near?"

"Yes?"

"I wonder how I'll ruin Mello today."

"..." No comment.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Mello ambled leisurely down the halls of Wammy's, a chocolate bar in hand, in a very euphoric mood.

He hadn't seen Psyche all day, something he didn't know was good or bad.

On one hand, there's been no hell in his day.

On the other, she's definitely plotting something. And no, he's not being paranoid.

Just then, Mello realized that Psyche has caused a lot of feelings inside him to rise, feelings he didn't know existed, he also realized that she was able to get Near and himself in a room without a war breaking out.

That girl was something else...

The peace for his thoughts didn't last, however, as a blur of black, blue, and white collided into him, knocking him over.

The poor blonde looked up to see insanity in its purest form.

An evil grin crossed her face as she stared down at him with defiance, who stared back with fear, "Hello Yellow Mello Jell-O Fellow. How may I screw you over today? That's what I thought when I woke up. Near, bless his soul, gave me a fantastic idea."

She grabbed both his hands and pulled him up onto his feet, something that scared him. How could she be that strong?

She hugged him, in a way he found scary, "Mello, have you ever played Dress Up?"

Mello escaped from her grasp, backing away, scared out of his mighty wits, "P-Psyche, what are you getting at?"

"I'm just curious, Mello. I mean, you're so pretty and feminine... I was just wondering..." Psyche murmured, stepping forward towards the black-clad boy, who was now against the wall.

"Psyche, there are people watching..."

"Screw the people."

"But there are people watching. This situation looks very strange to other people."

_It looks like you're trying to rape me!_

Psyche's creepy grin widened, "Oh no, Mello... I haven't forgotten our little 'Make-Out Session.' I intend on repaying the favor. Fully."

Mello then regretted his inability to resist impulsive actions, because he fucked with the wrong person.

The other children watching decided it wasn't worth their time, they didn't need Psyche appearing over their bed with a knife because they saw. The children filed out of the halls, into their rooms, or the Common Room, or Kitchen.

Psyche's pale sapphire eyes seemed to burn a hole in Mello. Her arms were now on either side of him, their faces in close proximity, "You will wear a French maid outfit, Mello. Make-up and the works. I assure you, you will remain the most beautiful girl in Wammy's."

Mello regained his bratty, PMS-y composure, "Firstly, do I SOUND like a girl? Do you know WHEN I will wear a maid outfit?"

"When hell freezes over?"

"When hell freezes over and the devil gives free sleigh rides."

"I hope you like sleigh rides, then, Coco, because hell's about to freeze over." Mello cringed at the use of his 'nick-name.'

Psyche let go of Mello, reaching into his back pocket for a chocolate bar, then left, leaving him flustered and frightened by his lonesome.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

The chocoholic entered his room to find Matt, Psyche and Near sitting in a in the center, a giant Smart Board, displaying something he didn't get to see before the black-haired Schizophrenic could act.

Psyche turned her head to Mello, before promptly ripping the plug for the Smart Board out of the electric socket. "COCO!" She glomped him, smiling, acting like she hadn't looked like she wanted to rape him just a few hours ago.

Mello, still baffled by Psyche's odd antics and fluctuating emotions, just dismissed it as her Schizophrenia. Though he was a little curious about the Smart Board...

"What are you doing in here? What is that damn sheep doing in here? What is that Smart Board doing here? Why are you all here?"

Psyche blinked, "Um... That's a lot of questions, Coco."

"Fine, then just answer the Smart Board one."

Psyche's smiled faded a bit, _Crap... What to do... CRAP IN A BUCKET! _"I was explaining the concept of YAOI."

Silence.

_Nice one, Psyche... Nice one..._

"Come on, Coco! I have a surprise for you!" the Schizophrenic grabbed his hand, dragging him to the kitchen, were a bunch of Lindt Chocolate Mousses waited for him.

She picked one up along with a spoon, "Here, Coco, try it..." She dipped the spoon in the mousse, then forcefully stuck it in his mouth, "Do you like it? Of course you like it. It's Swiss chocolate."

Mello's eyes narrowed, "You didn't poison this, did you? You didn't get any poison from, say, the Mafia?"

She shook her head, "No. The poison the Mafia uses is tasteless, but I swear I didn't use any poison from the Mafia."

After deciding they were safe enough, the chocoholic indulged himself in this chocolate heaven.

He then found himself getting a little dizzy...

Mello gripped his stomach, falling over unconscious.

Psyche stood over his weak form, the only mousse he didn't finish currently being eaten by her, "Didn't say anything about the Black Market."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

Mello awoke in a strange room, it was dark, and for some reason, he felt exposed.

He heard voices. Voices he recognized.

"OMG... He looks, like, so cute!"

"Why are you talking like that, Psy?"

"Oh, so you're one of THEM..."

"Miss Psyche, I do believe he has awoken."

"Ready the cameras!"

The lights flickered on, allowing Mello to see his surroundings. He was in Psyche's room. Mello proceeded to look down at his clothes.

_Oh, HELL NO..._

He was wearing a playboy bunny maid outfit, from what he could tell. And his lips... felt... funny.

"What the hell?!"

Psyche stepped forward, "Ah, you have awakened, my sexy little bunny."

"THAT IS CREEPY, PSY, EVEN FOR YOU."

She pouted, "Leave me be."

"Leave me be!"

"... You want me."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"Yes, you do."

"NO I DO NOT."

"YES YOU DO, MELLO!" Matt bellowed, taking pictures of Mello's helpless form.

Mello seethed, "Traitor."

"You look nice with lipstick. Red is your color." Psyche pointed out.

"OH MY FEE!"

Psyche's eyebrows furrowed, "Who the hell is Fee?"

"I... don't know."

Mello tried to get up, but found his hands bound to the bed by handcuffs, "A bunny outfit? Handcuffs? Kinky, Psyche. Kinky."

"I admit I have a cross-dressing fetish. Is that so wrong?"

"... That's sick, Psyche."

"Oh, really? You know what else is sick? Nearly having your tongue _shoved down my throat_. Why me, Mello? Why me? Why the nearly-insane Schizophrenic?"

Mello tried to explain, "Well, it's like candy. You know when you try a new candy, and realize you should have been eating that the whole time?"

"... You want to eat me?"

"That's a dirty way of putting it."

"I hate you, Coco."

"I love you, too, Psy."

* * *

**A/N: Filler... Meh. I want chocolate mousse now. ENJOY YOURSELVES! AND READ MISSEHKEEHL'S STORIES! She is going places!**


	9. Lesson Eight: Night Time Love

**Me: There is only one word to describe MissehKeehl's stories; EPIC AWESOME.**

**Mello: Those were two words.**

**Me: WHO ARE YOU, THE WORD POLICE?**

**Mello: Actually, yes. *Shows badge* I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you downtown.**

**Me: ... YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPERS! *Runs for dear life***

**Mello: OH NO YOU DON'T! *Chases after***

**Matt: Kelsey doesn't own Death Note, or Shake It by Metro Station. She does, however, own the OC Psyche.**

**Me: *Comes running by* Oh! And Misseh! I hereby dub Matt, Mello, and Fee's group theme song The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. LISTEN TO IT. I'M TELLING YOU. And listen closely at the end for a line about 'scars.' 'Kay, Misseh?**

**Mello: THERE YOU ARE!**

**Me: OH GODIVA, NO! *Runs***

* * *

Both Mello's self-respect and self-esteem were thrown out the window, hit by a truck on the road, and splattered all over the sidewalk where dogs took a piss on it.

Psyche had demeaned him, she had taken away all his masculinity the moment she put him in that accursed playboy bunny French maid dress.

Well, if that's the game she wants to play, he'd be happy to oblige.

No more being Psyche's bitch, it's time she learned who's boss around here.

She will learn. Even if he has to paddle it into her.

Mello walked the lonely East Corridors of Wammy's, talking in the eerie sight of the orphanage at night. He looked for Psyche's room, the room that housed the devil in human guise.

Stopping in front of the room he was in search of, he pulled a bobby pin out of his left pocket, sticking it into the lock and turning it, activating the tumbles and causing access into the room.

He crept into the dimly lit place, closing the door behind him and re-locking it.

Mello spied Psyche's sleeping form in her hammock-style bed. He tiptoed over to her bed, as light as a feather, and pulled the sheet down so it gave a full view of her mouth.

He shook the hammock-bed a bit, so she tossed towards him and lazily opened her eyes, giving him a groggily scared look.

"M-Mello? What are you doing here? It's not morning yet, therefore we shouldn't be causing hell in either of each other's lives and causing Roger to lose his remaining hair-"

Her sentence was cut off by Mello pressing his lips against hers. Psyche's ocean blue eyes widened to an unimaginable size, staring into Mello's sky blue ones. She shivered a bit as his arms wrapped around her.

There was one thing that scared Mello, that one thing made him curious, as well.

She wasn't struggling. She wasn't trying to scream, or trying to run, she was just taking it.

Her eyes returned to a normal size, eventually closing. Did he feel her kiss back...?

This certainly wasn't planned, but he wasn't complaining.

Deciding to be bold, Mello allowed his tongue to slip past his lips, and brush against Psyche's.

The black haired girl seemed very apprehensive, sealing her pale pink lips tighter.

That didn't exactly help, as she felt Mello's hand creep up and under her arms, toward her armpits, and begin to tickle.

"..Hee...Ha...Heee.... Haaa... Haaa!!! HAHAHA!" As Psyche's started giggling, Mello's slipped his tongue into her warm, moist cavern, rubbing against and dancing with her tongue.

Again, Psyche just took it.

Mello eventually pulled away, after what seemed like an eternity, a trail of saliva connecting their mouths.

They just stared at each other, for several minutes, until Psyche dared break the silence, "Mello... We act sort of like enemies... Our goal is to cause hell in the other person's life... And it makes me wonder; why do you do this to me?"

The blonde simply blinked, "Do what?"

It was then that Mello noticed something; Psyche's skin and face were flushed a bright pink, her breathing uneven, beads of sweat on her forehead... She looked human.

"Do _this._ It would never work out, you and I both know that. We'd kill each other with sick pranks."

Mello took on a sitting position, instead of straddling Psyche as he was before. "Why do you say that?"

"Have you seen our lives? I go out of my way to make sure you're miserable and demeaned. Doesn't that say something to you?" Psyche asked, looking expectant.

"It says that we don't know how to cope with our feelings for each other, so we take it out with sadism." He answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She fished for another excuse, "How about if I say I'm not ready for a relationship?"

Mello grinned, "I'd make you feel like a woman."

Psyche's pink face flushed a brighter shade of red, looking away from Mello, who just chuckled.

"You are a chocolate-eating fool, you know that? You allowed yourself to fall in love with the devil." Psyche pointed out, still refusing to look at him.

"I know. I also don't mind, because the devil can be an awful submissive little dame."

"That won't last long. So are we friends now, Mello?"

"I think the correct term for us would be 'friends with benefits'."

Psyche looked back at the blonde, still red in the face, but calmed a bit, "I hate you, Mello."

He smirked, "I love you, too," He resumed the straddling position, "Now give me a kiss."

* * *

_"...Your lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare. We're on the bed but your clothes are laying right there. And I was thinking of places that I could hide. Tonight you're falling in love, let me go now, this feeling's stirring me up, here we go now." _– "Shake It" by Metro Station.

* * *

**A/N: I FRIGGIN' LOVE Metro Station, even though Trace Cyrus is related to Miley. I, however, have no problem with Mason. TRACE CYRUS NEEDS TO PUT A DAMN SHIRT ON!**

**Mello: Are you done?**

**Me: No.**

**Matt: Give us reviews, or she'll be depressed all week. She already had a Nervous Breakdown to her friends!**

**Mello: Please don't make us have to comfort her again!**


	10. Lesson Nine: Mellow Encounter

**Me: LALALALALALALA!!!! :D *HAPPYASHELL***

**Mello: WTF is up with you?**

**Matt: She got a-**

**Me: BOYFRIEND!**

**Mello: ...MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT DATE YOU?**

**Me: HEY! WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO DATE _YOU?_ AND DON'T BE MEAN! I'm old enough to forcefully marry you, and according to the Laws of Fan-Fiction, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO!**

**Mello: .... PFFT.... What are these Laws of Fan-Fiction?**

**Me: First Law of Fan-Fiction; THERE ARE NO LAWS! BWAHAHAA.**

**Matt: ...Now that you've got that dose of Kelsey-Insanity, onward to the story! Kelsey does not own Death Note or its characters. She owns Psyche and only Psyche.**

**Me: PSYCHE ACTUALLY SCARES ME, TOO. Oh, the deep, dark pits of a fangirl's mind... Also, note to Misseh-chan, I was on the internet today, and I found a song called Different by Acceptance, whenever I think of it I think of Matt in Blank Canvas. Because our blue-haired friend will change something in Matt.**

* * *

Some of you more curious readers (if any) may be wondering how on earth Mello and Near met the little devil we like to call Psyche.

It's probably better you didn't know. But since Kelsey isn't that mean, just a sweet and demented young college girl, she decided to tell you.

May Heaven have mercy upon your soul, but if you're atheist, then when you die nothing happens.

Simple.

Regarding Mello and Psyche's meeting, it was a very strange encounter. Psyche's dialogue, actions, along with Mello's thoughts and actions, were very odd. Actually, it seems that Psyche was a sweet girl before Wammy's poisoned her mind; she's like a Beyond Birthday in-training.

Wammy's shaped Psyche into a Schizophrenic sociopath, semi-insane with no remorse for her actions.

However, Mello, Near, and Matt when the two weren't around, kept her grounded. Matt knows this, but the other genii don't seem to notice.

But I digress.

This is about Mello and Psyche, and their very strange first encounter...

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

_4 years ago..._

A 10 year old Mello sat in the currently busy common room of Wammy's, nibbling on (INHALING) a chocolate bar.

His abnormally large (COME ON, HIS EYES ARE FUCKING HUGE WITH TINY CORNEAS) sky-blue eyes darting around to watch the lesser students/orphans frantically move to wherever.

"You're a boy, aren't you?" a small, almost innocent sounding voice asked from behind.

Mello didn't turn around, "Yeah. Thanks for noticing. You're probably one of the few people to know that, out of all these gender-confused morons..."

_Snort._

"Well, you're pretty. Like a girl. I'm almost envious."

Pretty. A compliment he'd never heard from someone who knew he was a guy. The young dude-lady was flattered in a pissed way. You're probably wondering how that is possible. Even I can't fathom how that is possible.

This is Mello. Anything is possible with him.

"You're really beautiful. You smell nice, too. I never knew beauty had a scent until now."

Mello blinked after having finished all the chocolate in the Pocket Dimension he called his pants. Basically, he finished his crotch chocolate.

The blonde shman turned around, curious to see the mysterious person telling him these sweet things.

He nearly fainted at what he saw.

Two big turquoise blue eyes stared at him, her peachy skin exposed from dark blue jean shorts and a gray, over-sized sleeveless shirt.

Locks of gleaming ebony hair cascaded down her shoulders.

I have such a way with words. Kelsey is probably going to kill me for making her sound like a Mary-Sue...

"...Hi," he said lamely.

_I sound like an idiot..._

She waved, "Hi! I'm Psyche, nice to meet you. You're... Mello-Jello, right? Matt told me about you."

Blondie blinked. "You know Matt?" She smiled.

"Of course I know Red. Who doesn't know him, Blondie?" she asked, refering to his feathery blonde hair, and Matt's ruby red head.

Mello must use L'Oreal. Because he is definitely worth it.

"MELLO-YELLOW-JELLO-FELLOW!!!" Mello knew that voice too well. He roomed with it, for Godiva's sake.

Matt. Not just Matt, sugar-happy Matt. Who would've given Matt sugar?

The blonde didn't have time to speculate this, however, since his redhead friend had glomped him.

Not tackled. Not hugged. Glomped.

"What's up???" the goggle'd boy asked, both Psyche and Melly-poo. Heh. Poo.

"Nothing, Goggles. Or should I call you Goggle-Head?" Psyche asked, looking thoughtful.

Matt looked up, pouting, "I thought my nickname was Red!"

"Well, they're my nicknames, I'll hand them out to whoever I want!" Psyche said this with a smirk.

Matt's pout deepened, "Awww..."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

And that is how Psyche and Mello met.

Yeah.

What bullshit.

But Kelsey is lazy, ahem, I mean busy today and promises to update ASAP; As Soon As Possible, with more details on how Mels was feeling throughout the slightly abnormal conversation that was interrupted by our favorite Goggle Clad boy. Goggle'd. Goggle-Head. Goggles.

...Wow, there ARE alot of nicknames for Matt...

Some frown upon having a narrator speak directly to the audience, but screw them. The narrators always have something either important or funny to say. A few lines won't kill you.

Godiva...

Ahem, so that concludes this chapter, that Kelsey obviously bullshitted her way through.

* * *

**A/N: Makes me wonder... What name WOULD be more appropriate for Matt? Red? Goggles? Or Goggle-Head?**


End file.
